But mostly he's attached to me, so I want to divorce my cat. I think that we have irreconcilable differences. As in, he thinks that he should be my ass warmer, and I think that he should just leave me the hell alone. It's gotten to the point where I have to go to the grocery store to escape him. Kinda like how women with abusive husbands find reasons to stay out of the house and there by avoid getting hit. Except I'm looking for reasons to be out of the house so I can avoid his loud purring and excess amounts of orange fur. So maybe not so much on it being the same. I dunno.
In other news, Audrey and I have decided to write a book together. It'll be like one of those self help thinggys BUT better. And by better we will write about things like:
- The 3 Day Rule- which is something that I made up a long time ago to help you get out of sticky relationships
- Why you should always name your vibrators, and also why it's not good to break them over your best friends boyfriends head, just because he told a stupid joke
- And just generally how to be as cool as us, The Cowboy Killers
We plan on calling it something like The Cowboy Killers Guide to Everything. Now, you may be asking yourselves why we feel qualified to write a book. We aren't. But we are gonna do it anyways, because we are entrepreneurs. Along with the book we also plan on opening a restaurant- Cowboy Killers Heart Attacks... Or something like that. And a sex toy store. And we will offer discounts; like if you spend $50 at the restaurant then you get like 10% off your next dildo purchase. And of course we will sell the book at both venues. See. Entrepreneurs.
You just wish you were as cool as us.
Oh and if you have any stories to share about relationships or you have questions that you need answers to, just email me and we will hook you up. Plus you might get a chance to be in our book.
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